Love & Leadership: How I Transformed My Relationships and Career with One Simple Change

The last time I spent New Year's Eve alone, I sat in my apartment watching the ball drop and worrying about what was wrong with me. 

I had a great job working in upper management for a global technology company and a cute boyfriend with whom I dreamt of living happily ever after, but I felt as empty as my champagne glass.

That night, I realized that for my next year to be better than my last, I needed to figure out what was holding me back at work and in my love life. 

Despite years of working on my degree in business from Steinbeis University and then climbing the corporate ladder to my position as Regional Business Director Europe and Middle East, I had found myself stagnant for many months, unable to establish my voice at work and grow professionally.

This time, I wasn't sure how to move up. 

What I really wanted was to settle down, but that wasn't working either.

No matter how much attention I gave my boyfriend, he never seemed ready for the next step.

I couldn't even count on him to keep me company during the holidays. 

To get where I wanted to be next, I started working on myself.

My assertive voice at work was not being taken seriously by colleagues in our male-dominated office, but changing them was beyond my control.

I couldn't even control the one man in my life who I expected to kiss me at midnight on New Year's Eve. How was I supposed to control an entire industry dominated by men?

Once I realized how much of my life was out of control, I focused instead on improving the one thing I had power over – myself.

If I could change how I felt, others in my life would respond to this change in my energy, and things in my life would shift.

The manager in me decided to take action.

Thankfully.

Little did I know how much and quickly everything would change for me.

Suddenly, I had my regional managers showing up at the door of my office (willingly, on their own initiative) to report new deals they had negotiated.

And before, I needed to follow up with them multiple times, and they were grumpy doing the reporting. And now they were suddenly proud to report.

That same man who was not able to spend NY's Eve with me suddenly started showing up to cook pasta in my kitchen.

But what actually changed? I was still the same woman, wearing the same hairstyle and clothes. The team and my boyfriend were the same people. The only thing that changed was my energy. I tapped into a place of alignment between how I felt, how I was communicating it, and what my desires were, and I was not afraid to notice all the yucky feelings and fears around everything that happened in my everyday life.

The big revelation I had in my journey was that the most effective way to quickly and easily establish great relationships with men - both in work and romantic environments - is to heal your emotions, shift your energy, and enhance your communication all at once, all while engaging with a man.

Understanding the nuanced interplay of energy and communication transformed my life and enabled me to create a personalized approach that has served as a guiding light for over 2500 women seeking stability in their relationships.

In the next edition, I will share how exactly I changed how I speak for insane results both at the workplace and with my boyfriend. And if you want to dive deeper into relationship energetics right away, dive into the selection of resources I've put together for you.

Originally published in Expert Profile Magazine.