How a Female Manager Put an End to the Struggle with Leadership and Relationship Communication

The pressure, intense and unrelenting, surrounded me like a 360-degree storm.

Every moment is critical in the fast-paced aftersales tech support for life-saving medicine production equipment.

Urgent demands from customers were the norm, and my team stretched across borders, faced the challenge of meeting expectations with efficiency.

I had a go-to phrase: "Please organize this shipment today!" It got the job done, but it came at a cost.

The words, coupled with the tense energy I unknowingly conveyed, created a disconnect with my team.

They complied, but the tense atmosphere felt like a barrier between us, hindering open communication and collaboration.

All I wanted was to be accepted, liked.

Recognizing the impact of my unresolved pressure on my energy and team dynamics, I decided to change my approach. Instead of issuing commands, I began to express my feelings. The shift was palpable. By saying, "The customer needs his order shipped by today, and I feel extreme pressure from all sides. What do you think?" I invited collaboration.

Surprisingly, the team responded with solution suggestions rather than defensive explanations.

Empowered and motivated, they became proactive problem-solvers.

The transformation was astonishing, and I felt a newfound relief as a manager.

Taking this newfound skill home, I applied it to my relationship. The change from "Hey babe, I need a plan" to "Hey babe, it feels so good hanging out on the couch after a busy workday. When will you be coming? What do you think?" yielded immediate results. My boyfriend not only responded promptly but shared his schedule, and we ended the call with a plan. The manager in me, craving structure, felt a wave of calm.

This revelation became one of the three keys that radically changed my relationship and career simultaneously.

It wasn't just about words; it was about the energy behind them.

In the demanding corporate world, where the pressure to perform can be overwhelming, it's crucial to recognize the impact of language on relationships. Urgency can dominate conversations, leaving little room for collaboration.

Creating space for others is essential, especially in male-dominated environments.

I advocate for a different approach in the battle of masculine energies, where a lack of space breeds conflict.

Trust masculine energy, give it space, and witness a positive shift in dynamics.

Complaining and shutting down only perpetuates a cycle of negativity.

Instead, embrace a winning strategy – ask, "What do you think?" after presenting your ideas.

Watch as acceptance and collaboration become the norm.

In a world filled with pressure and competition, staying, winning, and feeling good is a choice.

It starts with a simple question that opens the door to understanding and collaboration.

So, let's shift our language, empower our teams, and transform our relationships.

Ask, "What do you think?" and see the tides of empowerment and connection sweep in.

Originally published in Expert Profile Magazine.